Reflection 8: Tick tock tick tock tick tock

It was not long after the day surgery (about a month) when a lump appeared behind my right ear. Like the previous lump that was in front of my ear, it too grew quite rapidly and became "quite a size," to quote a friend. Back to CancerCare Manitoba I went. A biopsy was quickly ordered. 

 It turned out to be cancer...the same type that was removed from the front of my ear. 

 I began to call it my "quail egg" because that is about the size it grew...in no time at all. I was beginning to think that it would explode! I couldn't sleep on my right side for fear of crushing it. I began the nightly ritual of propping pillows up so that I could not roll over on that side. (I continued the practice following my surgery on 2 June, but for an altogether different reason. My wound would not tolerate me sleeping on the right side.) 

 From the time of the appearance of the ‘quail egg,' until the surgery, I was subjected to a very thorough medical protocol. One, I am sure was written over many years of experience. The workup was extensive. Included was a C-Scan, Bone Scan and was subject to many tests. Lastly, I was brought into a lecture hall at CancerCare Manitoba where a group of specialists and resident doctors planned the best course of action "for Brian." I was not preview to any of the evidence. But the tumour was described as "massive." Naturally, the medical team had to do their due diligence prior to the surgery. That all took time.

 Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock. 

 During that time, there were three long weekends; time when the medical world seemed not to ‘turn a wheel’. But I kept thinking that the cancer does not take long weekends. “Let’s get on with it!” I wanted to scream and tell anyone who would listen.

 This was a very frustrating time. Very frustrating. I served in the Canadian Army. There we work by the task and not the clock! Civilians work the opposite way. The world and my cancer has its own schedule regardless of my wishes. 

 Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock.


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