Reflection 27: The Dinner Party

 A longtime colleague of mine called unexpectedly, stating she wants to come to Winnipeg to see how I was doing with my recovery. Her and her two children now live in Toronto.

 "Are you sure? It is quite a distance."

 "Yes, I know that," she stated. "But we haven't seen each other for ages. Your recovery is a perfect reason to come out west and visit. Why not organize a dinner with our old gang from the Food Bank? It would be great to see the three of you."

 Our telephone conversation ended with her request. 

 Gee, I really don't know, I thought. I would love to. But this will be the first time I will be attending a dinner party following my operation. But it is not as if these people are strangers. We worked together for over three years, I reasoned. But... 

 I reluctantly agreed to carry out her wishes. I told her I would. I am not going to call her back and tell her I have changed my mind. 

 The first person I contacted about our little gathering suggested a particular restaurant. Sight unseen, I agreed and indicated that I will be the organizer. 

 The following week I kept having doubts about agreeing so quickly. The four of us are all about the same age, so I had no worries about the type of restaurant my friend would suggest. He is not the type to point us to a noisy college haunt with their type of music blaring to attract college-age people. This city has more than its fair share of universities and colleges. 

 So what about the ambiance? I asked myself. Is the restaurant an open concept? Will there be too much background noise? If that turns out to be the case, how will I ever be able to properly communicate and enjoy the dialogue with my friends? Backgrounds can be the arch-enemy to deaf on one side people I reminded myself. I will not nod wisely and pretend to understand when I really don't. That is being dishonest and not fair to everyone at the table! I thought and worried about these sorts of things.  The 'what if' monsters continued to be released as if from a box in my mind and they were having a field day. 

 As I planned, I was the first to arrive at the restaurant. The background noise was not as bad as I imagined. Sometimes...no, many times my imagination overstates the case. I am still learning how to bridle it.

 Everyone arrived by the appointed hour.

 Smiles and glad hands all around. Talking, talking and even more talking. There was hardly time to glance at the menu. A restaurant table because of its size forces people to sit in close proximity, either beside or across from each other. One of the strategies that I have adopted is picking a seat where my right side has nobody beside me. That works very well in most situations. Hearing and joining in on the conversation was not as difficult as I imagined. Again, my imagination overstated the case. Trying to listen to the waiter talk about the dinner specials was a challenge. My friends helped by repeating what he said helped a little. But we all had a menu so I simply picked. I decided on something that was moist because of my 'dry mouth'. But that is another story.

 The dinner was a success. I am so glad we did it. It succeeded in so many ways. The four of us saw each other after too long a time. It always seems to be too long a time. We exchanged our 'news.' We renewed our friendships. Like everyone, I enjoyed a dinner with friends. I was accepted. Being accepted turns out to be so important. I was able to push back all of the 'what if' monsters into Pandora's Box. The Greek myth says that closing the Box once it is open cannot be done. I don't believe that at all. It can be. I did it!