Reflection 33: Mary and Sing Wue

 Mary lives in a hospice in Winnipeg. She has been there for almost 18 months. She is in the final stage of Hodgkin lymphoma, a cancer of the lymphatic system. She has fooled the medical world more than once by looking at another six-month contract. Sing Wue is from Guilin, Guangxi province in southern China, near Shanhu (Cedar) Lake. This is a very picturesque area and attracts many tourists from around the country. She is in Canada on a student visa to study the Canadian social system at one of the universities.

 This is a short story about relationships and how they are essential to our health and happiness, especially in times of sickness. It is a poignant story.

*** 

 “Right this way please, Sing Wue.” She obediently follows the receptionist down the hall to a door on the right with a nameplate Elizabeth Brown, Psychosocial Oncologist, Administrator. With the receptionist slowly and quietly opening the door, she enters. The receptionist leaves, closing the door on the way out. 

 Clenching her resume and application tightly to her chest, Wue cautiously enters the room. The lady looks up from what she was doing and rose from her desk. 

 "Hi. Welcome to Serene Gardens Sing Wue."

 Wue bowed as is her custom. The lady didn't know quite what to do, so she just stood there, rather embarrassed in her ignorance. 

 "If I may please Madam, my name is Wue. In my country family name is first out of respect."

 "Nice custom," the Administrator said. "My name is Elizabeth, but people around here call me Beth. Please, let's sit," indicating two inviting chairs off to one side and away from her desk. "Is that your resume and application that you are holding so tightly?"

 "Yes please, it is." Wue hands the documents to Beth.

 Without looking at them Beth puts them on the coffee table situated between them. Aside from a vase of red and white roses, the table is empty.

 Glancing at the cut flowers, love and spirituality, thought Sing Wue.

 "Now Wue, tell me a little about yourself and why you decided to volunteer at Serene Gardens. I will look over your papers later. Right now, I want to know a little about you from you."

 Thinking for a moment to find the words, Wue indicates that she is a Chinese student studying at the local university. She came to the West because her parents want her to learn English. They think that it would be an advantage since English is more universal than her native Cantonese.

  “Last summer,” continues Wue, “I work on one of many Lifeline Express trains that travel rural China. They are hospital train on which medical people preform free cataract operations for people who cannot afford it. We have many very poor people in our country. On my train I met a Canadian student-doctor who is from this place and told me about Canada. Before the summer past, I became interested and decide to come here. I study Social Science and Canadian Studies. 

 “Very admirable,” said Beth. “Tell me a little of your family. You said that you have parents, do you have siblings?”

  Wue looked confused. “Siblings? I know understand. My English is no good.”

 “Sorry,” brothers and sisters. Do you have any?”

 “There are four of us, one older brother and two younger sisters. My brother draws buildings for others to build. I don’t know the word.” My sisters are younger than me, both are in Chuzhong.

 “Chuzhong?”

 “Oh, excuse me, that be Junior Lower Level grade 9. They are twins, 15 years’ old. They like to dress in each other’s clothing to fool people. We are great friends."

 “Doesn’t China have a two-child policy for a family?” inquired Beth.

 “Yes, it does. But people of rank and privilege may pay the government. The rule is then forgotten. Father is a General in the People’s Liberation Army. He has been in the Army for many years. He has many connections in the government. We have lived in many places in my country."

 There was a quiet knock on the office door. The receptionist enters with a young woman about the same age as Wue.

 Beth rose. “Wue, I’d like to introduce you to Hye. She is from South Korea on a student visa as well. She will act as your mentor until both you and she feel you are comfortable enough to look after yourself around here. She speaks Cantonese and is also studying English. Maybe you can help each other with it.

 “Maybe my tutor will accept you as a student of English,” suggested Hye. “He does know how to teach."

 Beth interrupted, "Your direct supervisor is Rebecca.”

 Wue and Hye bowed.

 “The first order of business is for Hye to accompany you to Administration where there are government forms to complete, including a Criminal Reference Check and be scrutinized under the Vulnerable Persons Act. You are a volunteer so there are no Revenue Canada forms to worry about. It is close to lunch so Hye will show you our dining area. There, I hope, you will meet Mary. You have been assigned as her companion. She needs companionship. Do you have any questions, Wue?”

 “When will I be working?” 

  “Rebecca would like you to be here Monday, Wednesday and Friday following your university classes. Is 6 to 10 p.m. okay? Hye, please introduce Wue to Rebecca.” 

  Thinking about the shift, Wue said, “Yes please.” 

  “Thank you for volunteering, Wue. We are always looking for good people.” With that the three of them rose. Wue and Hye bowed toward Beth and left the office. 

***

 On her second shift, Sing Wue met Mary. They did not meet on her first shift for some reason or other. Sing Wue was a little more than nervous because such places are quite rare in China. Perhaps they are located in the Special Economic Zones of Hong Kong / Szhenzen and Shanghai, but nowhere else. In Chinese culture, the extended family is the order of the day. In sickness, people are not shut out of the immediate family. Even people advanced in years live under the same roof as their children and grandchildren.

 In Canada this is not the case. In Canadian society children “warehouse” parents in places called old folks homes, hospices, extended care facilities or some other euphemism. This is particularly true if the octogenarian is suffering from a life-threatening ailment such as Hodgkin. All of this is quite foreign to Sing Wue. She is troubled by this.

Over time, Mary and Sing Wue became friends. Mary now had a companion and Sing Wue had someone to practice her English with. As time went on, this turns out to be a win-win situation. Both Mary and Sing Wue begin to look forward to their visits. Both are lonely for adult company. Sing Wue has trouble getting close to her workmates simply because she is embarrassed about her broken English. Outside of Mary, she spends most of her idle time with Hye. But Mary was different. Mary reminds her of her grandmother.

 Like her grandmother, Sing Wue confides in Mary about everything imaginable that a young woman growing up is curious about. She has no trouble whatsoever bringing up any and all topics. Mary has no difficulty educating Sing Wue about life. They spend hours together, talking. The time spent together gives them great comfort.

 Sing Wue would read to Mary for her eyes were not so good anymore. It mattered not that the letters Sing Wue read were over 50 years old and about family members serving Canada in the Korean War. The words were not important to Mary. Companionship was. Mary would tell stories to Sing Wue about her childhood and growing up in Southern England.

 Sing Wue would sing to Mary in Cantonese. Both were very happy in each other’s company.

 Sing Wue noticed the black and white photographs on Mary's wall, old and faded by sunlight. They contained images of young people in Canadian Army uniforms; new and clean, not dirtied by war. There was one larger picture in a tarnished silver frame, in a place of honour on the wall above Mary's bed. It showed a smiling bride and groom. They look so happy, thought Sing Wue. Mary told Sing Wue that the people were of her and her new husband, William who never made it home from Korea.

 “Are you married,” inquired Mary?

"No," was the reply. “My interest now is finishing my school and learning English.”

Mary shared stories of her married life prior to William leaving as a private with the Fort Garry Horse Regiment.

When Sing Wue was not talking, reading or singing to Mary, she was combing her hair, doing her nails or helping her to decide on what makeup or dress to wear the next day to breakfast. You see, Mary was a most proper lady as War Bride's tended to be.

 A MONTH LATER

 On one of Sing Wue’s shifts in early autumn, Mary was not seeing visitors because the doctor was with her. Doctor visits seem to be happening more and more regularly, Wue noticed.

 Sing Wue wanted to share with Mary her Chinese culture. It was at the time of year when many Asia countries, including China, celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival. The Festival is held on the 15th day of the 8th month of the lunar calendar with the full moon at night. (Some call it the Lantern Festival.) This corresponds from late September to early October of the Gregorian calendar. This would be a good time to share her culture, Song Wue thought.

 She spoke about how the festival is celebrated in Guilin, her hometown. “It has three fundamental concepts that are closely connected: a gathering of friends and family, thanksgiving and prayer. The theme is relationships and love. The centre piece for the Festival is the moon cake; a sweet dessert shared by everyone.” Sing Wue decided to bake and give Mary a moon cake as a present; her token of companionship and love. This has very special meaning for her grandmother taught her how to bake a moon cake when Sing Wue was a little girl. Mary reminded Sing Wue of her grandmother.

Mary is delighted to receive such a gift. She understood the significance of the Festival and its meaning when it was explained to her. Mary felt honoured.

 One evening, shortly after the Mid-Autumn Festival, Mary asked Sing Wue to do her a great favour.

 "Would you call my daughter? I have tried and tried, but she never answers the phone. I would dearly love to talk to her."

 "Of course."

 When Mary's daughter answered, Sing Wue informed her that she was sitting with her mother. She wishes for a visit, so they can have a talk. She longed to see her. Mary's daughter quickly agreed to visit and hung up.

 Mary was pleased. As a matter of fact, she was beside herself with joy!

 A week went by before Sing Wue asked Mary if her daughter visited.

 "No," replied Mary.

 Sing Wue recently learned that some people shy-away from cancer. It is almost as if they think they can catch it from another person, which they can’t. It is not a communicable disease life influenza. Some will not even say the word “cancer” or say it as the “c” word. People are funny, concluded Wue. Still, Mary is her mother….

 Puzzled, Sing Wue decided to call the daughter again. Perhaps she had forgotten, although this seems unlikely. She let the phone ring...five, six, seven times. No answer. After an hour or so she tried again. No answer.

 Mary concluded and told Sing Wue that her daughter probably recognized the phone number on the call display, knew what the call was all about...and ignored it! Just like she does with Mary's calls.

 One the following scheduled shift, Sing Wue came to see Mary at the appointed time only to find Mary's room empty of her personal effects. She left to find and ask Rebecca.

 "I'm sorry," Mary passed away yesterday. We are still trying to locate the listed Next of Kin. But there never is an answer to our phone calls."

 Sing Wue collapsed into a nearby chair and wept.

 As was Sing Wue's usual custom, she decided walk back to her university dorm following her visit to Serene Gardens. But this walk was different. She had a heavy heart. It was a very still and cold, even for Winnipeg. On this particular night, the moon seemed particularly bright.

 Glancing at the moon and the surrounding sky, she noticed a star she hadn't seen before. It was right overhead. It was bright and appeared to be twinkling.

 Sing Wue plodded along the path, deep in thought of Mary and all they talked about.