Reflection 26: First day back to school

 To tell you the truth, I didn't really expect to go back to teaching until 12 October. But here it is a few days before 11 September when my supervisor, the Director of the Health Care Department at the college where I teach contacted me to find out if I was well enough to substitute teach for a colleague. The Director was in a corner and reaching out to me. 

 With confidence I said, "Yes." 

 Shortly after I put down my cell, the demons arrived. There were many. Self-doubt crept into the recesses of my mind, crowding out my positive frame-of-mind. Am I really well enough? I haven't taught since late-May. Four months is a long time! How will it go? What about my hearing? I found some comfort in knowing that I would be teaching Microsoft Office Level 1, an entry level course. The curriculum is not a problem...ever. But the class size is so big. There are 22 registered. What about the physical classroom? Some classrooms have a lot of background noise; particularly from the ancient overhead heating and cooling systems. The building is so old. Oh my. Oh My God, what if my hearing fails me? I entered the 'What if...' mode. Such questions -- and others -- raced though my mind. My confidence began to melt like an ice cream cone on a hot summer day. 

 With all my doubts I turned to a couple of my cheerleaders. They have been so helpful in the past. Everyone needs cheerleaders from time to time. They put a different spin on things. 

 The first wrote back, "Do you remember what I told you? Fear is the worse emotion. It's a bad habit that we should kick. Teaching is your passion. Live in the moment and enjoy it. Think positive. You are picking up your life momentum again. I will pray for you." 

 Very sound counsel. I mused over her words.

 I wrote back, "But what if my hearing fails me?" 

 "Remember that human beings are powerful because we can make dreams come true. We can create our own reality," she concluded. 

 My other cheerleader whom I depend upon was similarly profound. 

 I really needed such encouragement.

 With such thoughts in mind and the demons at bay...somewhat... I entered the classroom. 

 The only way that I can express my feelings at that moment...is like finding an old pair of shoes at the back of a closet and slipping them on. It felt so good!

 The students were so welcoming without me even saying a word. Their trust and anticipation for learning something about a computer was such a confidence builder. 

 In my introduction I explained the situation. I am always 'up-front' with all my students in every class. There was silent acceptance. I could see in their eyes that they accepted me. Acceptance is so needed. 

 In my graduate studies I ran across Dr. Jane Vella. She accepted to become my mentor. My teaching philosophy is derived from her writings: Learning to Listen Learning to Teach, Taking Learning to Task, Dialogue Education at Work, et al. Her method has always worked for me. Get them to dialogue. 'To talk is to teach but to dialogue is to learn' became my mantra. My first day back at school was no different. 

 I put people into pairs. Following a short lecture, I would pose a task and they would dialogue together and come up with their solution. As a class, we would discuss their solutions. If I had trouble hearing someone, I went right up beside them and asked them to please repeat their question. I repeated the question so everyone know that I (and they) understood. People had no problem with that! None at all. 

 In other words, the students would do the lion's share of the teaching. This method worked in the past and worked this time as well. As an aside, I found out from one of my cheerleaders that Jane is still with us. She is 92 year's young. I am going to write to her, telling her about this first day back at school. I think that she may enjoy reading it.

 The class worked. The students were connected and I was with them. We were dialoguing and that is what Dialogue Education is all about. The demons left. They left!

 I am very much looking forward to my next class.