Reflection 40: My Cancer Buddy and the long haul

 

     Some of the ideas and words were provided by LH in text messages; a breast cancer survivor and my “cancer buddy.” Without her, my fight with head and neck cancer would be so much more difficult.

 

     I am well into the 7th month of living with head and neck cancer. Currently, I am awaiting a CSAN, followed by a consultation with my surgeon. With everything that has happened with my health during the seven months, two things are apparent. First, there is the need to have a “cancer buddy.” Second, you must decide that with cancer, you are in for the long-haul. Both are critical in fighting and destroying this disease. 

 

     Cancer is such a despicable disease. It is sneaky. It invades unsuspectedly and works at destroying DNA quietly, usually with no fanfare. It is difficult to detect until it shows itself because you are not looking for it. In my case it was a lump on my right ear that rapidly grew into the size of a quail egg, literally. I felt fine before and after the tumour was removed. The effects that I felt following the operation were the effects of the Radiation Treatment. These so-called “side effects” were and still are not pleasant, particularly the “dry mouth,” the lack of energy and experiencing dizziness. Radiation is not friendly to my body. But the other two options are not as well. I am referring to chemotherapy and surgery. It is true that the cure is not as bad as the disease, but I must admit that on some days I have to wonder. Living with cancer can be such a roller-coaster ride. For sure, the ups are the best part. But the downs are horrible. So many monsters make themselves known. That is where my “cancer buddy” is such a help.

 

     I firmly believe that everyone living with cancer should have a “cancer buddy.” They are so needed. LH is mine. She is a breast cancer survivor. She is my strength. I like to think I am hers. We met during Radiation Therapy. For both of us that was a Red Letter Day. 

 

     I think that it is important to take some time to find the right person to be a “cancer buddy.” It is not a decision to be taken lightly. LH has “been there, done that.” This is an important prerequisite. Only a cancer survivor can truly understand a cancer survivor. She understands the fears, the emotions, the “what if” games that some people play. She understands the monsters that go bump in the night. We both have an understanding of  “the good, the bad and the ugly” of this debilitating disease. Even though we have different types of cancer, (there are over 200), we relate in our common fight with cancer. She is living it too. Getting me through a particularly bad time allows me to understand that my emotions are normal. Feeling that you are normal is very important. It is normal to be discouraged, to feel sad or have a little cry. Such emotions are okay. They are human emotions. LH and I live together in and through everything cancer has tossed our way. She is such a comfort. My fight would be so difficult without her. It is hard to imagine going solo.  

 

     Cancer forces me to think long-term. I am in for the long-haul. There is nothing short-term when it comes to this disease. My “cancer buddy” and I are just past the six-moth mark. Best evidence suggests that we will be looking at 5 years before we can truly sigh a relief. To me, this means it is even more imperative that a “cancer buddy” is beside me, encouraging. And I reciprocate. I have learned that strength does not come from one. Nor is it a combination of two. But strength and energy is greater than the sum of what both of us can muster.

 

     Yes, a cancer survivor can decide to fight this disease alone. But unbelievable strength and the energy to go on comes with having a “cancer buddy.” There is no need to walk alone. None whatsoever! 

 

 

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